A Gorilla of any Other Size Would Smell as Sweet

I'd like to ignore the 800-pound gorilla in the room, but he is currently tearing my arms off.

The average male gorilla weighs 400 pounds. Zoo gorillas that let themselves go can pork out to 600. I assume that Joe-everygorilla or the pre-Subway Jared gorilla would be just as hard to ignore as the mythical 800-pound variety.

Know what would be really hard to ignore? A little gorilla running around the boardroom throwing papers and defecating everywhere.