A Friendly Reminder from the Management

Several times a year my slum lords find an empty can in the parking lot or catch too many people in the pool. Instead of confronting the offenders, they will print a letter and tape it to all the doors in the complex. It usually reads like this:

Dear Residents,

You disgust me. How can you live with yourselves, wallowing in your own filth? I wish I managed a ramshackle tenement in a third-world country with no human rights so I could deal with you vermin in the manner that you deserve.

Thank you for your attention in this matter,

The Management