Oboe: What is the sound of one ass sucking?

Listening to my son's 6th grade band revealed that my new least favorite instrument is the oboe. Is it ethical to allow innocent children to play these things? Those banshee-sticks make the bagpipes sound like an angelic choir.

The French horns were fairly offensive as well. Not in the meaning that I am insulted by them, but in the military sense. If Bush found a large cache of French horns buried in the Iraqi desert, the US invasion would be justified. The oboe wins, however, because in the battle of annoying instruments, if all else is equal, the winner goes to the one of higher pitch.