Children, let me tell you about the 80s

It is in vogue to like retro hair bands right now. Vacuous power ballads are like pictures of you in awkward adolescence. It takes about 20 years to be able to laugh at them.

But it wasn't funny at the time, I assure you. By 1990 true rockers were subsisting only on the stale crusts of AC/DC and Van Halen repeats. The best new music on the airwaves was by half-assed bands like Drivin' and Cryin'. (Remember them? I didn't think so.) Metallica and Jane's Addiction were around, but were snubbed by mainstream radio.

In 1991, my car ran out of gas so I walked to a gas station in the rain. There was this crazy music blaring from the surly cashier's cheap tape player. It tasted like an oasis after wandering in a musical desert. I had to ask him who it was. He looked impatient, like he was sick of being asked.

"Pearl Jam"

It was a great day.