Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Undead Marketing

Many feel that zombies are the greatest danger mankind has ever faced. I think those people are negative Nellies. When life hands me zombies, I make zombie-related merchandise.

One money-making idea is advertising space. You could not find a cheaper and more patient sandwich board man among the living. By placing your logo on the torso of a shambling corpse, you are guaranteed it will be viewed at eye level and wander to wherever the living congregate. A small up-front investment can mean years of exposure to people whose attention will be focused directly on your message!

Products that might be suited to this target market:

"Under zombie attack? Why not try Lil' Clubber baseball bats!"

"After a long night battling the undead, you deserve a Z-Brew. The only beer specially crafted for the the post-zombie apocalyptic world."

(If you have ideas for advertisements, please add them in the comments.)

2 comments:

CH said...

How about an add for caskets? "Don't let this happen to your loved ones! By a quality casket from Ed's Casket Emporium, and keep 'em in the ground!"

Nairelev said...

Food for the homeless dude.
"Tired of rotten corpses littering you suburbsn dwelling? Donate your re-dead to "Help the Homeless". On the back it would say
" Each corpses feeds a hobo for a week."